When Death Creeps Close

When someone near to you dies you do go through grief and shock but as you move up in years you think about other things. You grasp for a reason why someone your own age just passed away. 

Mortality smacks you in the face. 

This year I lost both a good friend and relative. The friend smoked for years and it was those nasty cigarettes that finally did her in. She was 65. Bright, vibrant and taken too soon. The relative had health problems she didn't share. (Younger by a few years) That was more of a shock due to the fact we thought everything was alright. 

It wasn't. But her passing was still a shock even to those who knew she had health problems.

When you're 20 or 30 and someone your age passes away it's always a shock but not something that makes you question your own health and lifestyle. 

Then you hit 60 and your perspective is skewed in the "could that have been me?" zone. You start to question that twinge in your chest, the cramp in your calf, and that forgetfulness.  

I think we have to double check everything. Make sure your meds (yes there are two to date) are good and go back to exercising regularly. Throughout the years exercise has come and gone and come back again. In my 20's I was hard core, then came kids and it got sporadic, then through the years it came and went. One thing stays constant? It does make you feel better. Jars are easier to open, boxes lift with less strain, your back thanks you, and squatting down doesn't mean you're stuck down there until someone gives you a lift. 

So to those who have passed I send my prayers, to those who are suffering I send hope that their health takes a turn for the better. 

For me? I need to clean out the spare room and get some weights. A few weeks ago I got a dog so the cardio is on the uptick. Dogs need walks and living where winter never drops below 60 degrees makes walking easy and enjoyable. 

Tomorrow I attack the pile of boxes in the spare room to make space for exercise. Yeah! 

Making of a Badass...

When did I start trying to please everyone? Was I born this way? Accumulate this weird need to make sure everyone is happy?

Sometimes I wonder if this is what held me back.

A psychic once told me when I was older I'd be famous....
WELL HELLO! How old do I have to get to find the fame? Not that I crave fame. Mostly I crave happiness. Sure money will help, but it's not that important. I grew up fairly poor and we were happy. In fact, I didn't realize how poor we were until I was much older. I looked back at the things we didn't have and realized that others had so much more. I never knew. When you're happy and surrounded by love, why would you care about other stuff? I remember looking into the refrigerator with my brother Mike. It must have been summer because it was mid day and we had just come in from playing. There was a loaf of Wonder White bread on the counter. We opened the door and all it held was a few condiments, a bottle of Kero syrup, a half a gallon of milk and not  much else. Mike grabbed the ketchup, I took the mayo. We made scant sandwiches. He had ketchup, me; mayo. We ate our condiment sandwiches and watched some TV, then headed back out to see what was going on in our neighborhood.  It was a normal day, hanging out in the neighborhood, playing handball in the street, a warm and sunny day. We had no clue we were poor. Didn't everyone eat mayo sandwiches? Cold cuts? What were they?

My kids are 1000 miles away. Living in Florida. I want to move closer to them. It kills me to be so far from them. They are bright, young adults and I am so proud so of them. And I miss them terribly.

I'm listening to  a book; You the Bad-ass. Basically its a kick in the pants telling you to make it happen. If you want it in your life, go for it. Stop being a wus and do it, take the leap. We all have a superpower. It's not that we don't have it, it's that we don't recognize it in ourselves.

We all have the ability to change our destiny. We are the bad-ass of our own life. We can create an alternate destiny and move toward our goals.

So now I'm planning...