Sixty the New Forty?

Could sixty be the new forty? Are people more in-sync with a healthier lifestyle that they eat better, stay active, and get medical care? Could be.

Turn on any morning talk show and half the time you find some doctor talking about the best way to do things. Eat your veggies, walk, drink water. All of this wasn't on our parent's radar when they hit sixty. The information highway has brought this info to us in a constant stream. TV, radio, and of course the computers. (Which are now inside our phones.)

So, yes. Sixty could be the new forty.

Sure I feel a little stiffer in my joints. I've got arthritis in my neck and shoulder from a car accident, and that extra weight doesn't seem as easy to lose as it used to be. But I can still walk a mile, lift weights and work. I think back to my mom at this age and she was already disabled and collecting disability. She had hip and artery problems which I think now were misdiagnosed.  Something we'll never know for sure. She hadn't been working for a few years by this age.

I see friends my own age that are in pretty good shape, too. Some have bigger health challenges but the information that's out there is helping them. They have more places to turn to than just their doctor. They were exposed to a time when new discoveries in medicine surprised us all. Vitamins, vaccines, food values, healthier sweeteners, the list goes on.

So someone tell me, how do we make Seventy be the new forty?

Surviving the Empty Nest

I'll be 62 in a few weeks. Truthfully, I don't feel any different than I did at 40 only, in a way, I have less responsibility.  Oh yeah, I'm still working, building my own business that I started at age 60, but the kids, my life's work up until they went off on their own are now building their own lives.
Empty nesting was hard on me. I had a sense of being lost, wanting to go back but of course there's no going back. Kids grow up and move out. It's pretty much a fact of life. I found myself falling back into the memories of things we did together, places we went, mountains I watched them climb, success and growth. I was drowning in memories.
They are off on their own, successful in their own right. Building their own lives, forging a path. I'm so proud of who they have become.

Now what?
Well, the hubby and I sold the house, moved 900 miles to be closer to the kids and started our own business.
Yikes!
We did that?
It's scary and fun and hard work. But so far it's work I'm loving. So I still have responsibility but it's different. No little lives depend on me, I don't have to wake anyone up in the morning but me. Make dinner or don't. It's just the hubby and I so we take turns or we go out.
I think after going through the empty nest portion of life I've emerged on the other side. My brother once told me empty next is like being 21 again but this time you have money. He's kind of right. Except I took all my money and put it in a business. :)

Truthfully, I think retirement at this point would bore me. The brain has to stay active to continue to grow. Chasing a golf ball around the green just isn't for me. Neither is sitting on the couch. If I had retired like that I'd probably be pacing the room look for the escape hatch.
Bottom line? To survive the empty next set goals. Don't just curl up and think about retirement.
THINK!

Is there something you always wanted to try? Something you always wanted to be? Set a goal. Make it big or small or make many and knock them out one at a time. Either way, don't forget that life is about moving forward.
So move toward a goal no matter how big or small.
It's out there. Go for it. Go for 60! It's gonna be a beautiful decade!

Dreams, Goals & the Craziness of Youth

We were young. We were crazy.
Sometimes looking back at the roads we traveled, the chances we took, I have to wonder why we survived.
From lost in Helmetta to 2 am runs three towns over, what were we looking for? What were we hoping to find?
Crazy.
I don't know if it was the time of society or the time of our youth that we got away with so much, but insanity sure fed our useless ambitions. Ambitions to nowhere. No goals ruled our crowd, no hope for anything but the right here, right now.
Who the hell were we?

Now almost 40 years later I look back and wonder where the time went. Why decisions weren't made differently. Decisions to move forward instead of just going with the flow. College should have come first. It's my biggest regret. Although I did some college later in life I know if I had gone during those young and crazy years, if I had chosen my goal then, I'd be more satisfied now.
Yes, I do know that. In my soul.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question they throw at you when you're barely 5 or 6 years old. When you don't know anything about the world or the possibilities it contains. Why aren't kids exposed to more of the world before they're asked that question? I think it would change a lot of lives.

I knew.
When I was 5 or 6 and asked that question my answer was always "an artist."
I knew it then.
"Oh dear, artists don't make any money, pick something else."
As if it were that easy.

Now I know who I am but I'm not where I want to be or would be had I been encouraged instead of told to "pick something else."

To be who you are meant to be is a sense of freedom. To be encouraged allows dreams to launch. You're okay! You can do this! Keep going!

Dreams are meant to be chased.
Don't ever forget that. 

DeMystifing the Introvert

All those personality tests are missing something. Labeling people as introverts is missing the point. They think introverts don't like socializing, have issues with talking to people, don't like meeting new people, etc.

They're wrong.

Introverts don't like wasting time. Introverts want action. Introverts are doers.

They're not going to sit around talking about the weather, but bring them to a place of shared interest and they turn on. They are bright and talkative and will control the conversation. They ask the most interesting and thoughtful questions and will have people sharing more than the usual small talk. Introverts crave interesting things.

Got an introvert in your life? Discover their passions and engage them about it. Is your introvert into Art? Auto mechanics? Theater? Books? Museums? Baseball? Football? Go there. Talk about it, visit it, find out more about it.

That's the secret.

Don't call them Introverts. Call them the Passionate.

Life After 60?

Yes, life after sixty. Just think of the quote; You're never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.

I had a dream at age 5. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I'd always reply; An artist. I knew it then, in my heart, that I was an artist.

Giraffe rock painted for a friend

My mother disagreed.

Let's remember my mother grew up during the depression. She saw the worse of it and although her father always had a job times were lean and the man she married wasn't so lucky. My father came from a family of 12 children. Only 6 survived to adulthood. He quit school in the 6th grade to work to help support the family yet he was one of the smartest people I've ever known. I think it bothered him that he lacked even a grammar school education, but I know that had he been given opportunities, he would have gone far. He was kind and fair. His family was tough as nails, they had to be to survive with 12 kids and little money during those times.

Anyway, my mother said, "Artist don't make any money, pick something else."
Always the good little girl I believed my mother and wandered most of my life looking for that something else. I've worked retail, as a dental assistant, bartender, office manager, more retail, waitress, election clerk, sales manager, marketing director, human resource director, etc. I just floated from job to job as the opportunity arose and never really felt fully satisfied. Some were more interesting than others, some challenging (I loved the challenging jobs) and some were frustratingly boring. None touched my passion. Marketing came close, but the place where I worked was micro managed so it had limitations.

I wrote some books. Got a few more almost done. Yes, writing is in my heart, too, but I guess it's just another kind of art. A few books up on Amazon and really should get the others up soon. Working on that!
I wrote for the confession mags before they went under. Loved those stories.

Now at age 61? My kids moved 900 miles away. Let's face it, New Jersey is a hard state to start out in. They got out and I'm glad they did. Both bought their own homes and built a life. I missed them terribly. It was decision time.

My husband and I started investigating our options. If we moved down to be closer to them what could we do? How about our own business?

So here we are in Florida. No, not to retire. We are starting our own business and yes, it involves art. (More on this later.)  Right now we're in a kind of limbo doing the prep work for our new biz while living with my youngest daughter. I miss having my own home. Hey! This is the first time in over 30 years I didn't have my own house to take care of. But things here are going good. We're crazy busy getting this off the ground and since we're starting from the bottom up it's going to take months to get from leases & lawyers through the build-out process to the Grand Opening.

For a while I felt a little panicked. What have we done? Sold our home, left everything we ever knew and now we're ... homeless?  Then I go back and think;

You're never to old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. 

Family Tree painted for a friend. 

If I'm 60, why don't I feel old?

I remember my mom at 60. She was overweight, grey and only went out to go to senior meetings. I'm not sure what they did at these meetings but I think it was maybe card games and snacks. Now, I'm 60 and although I need to lose about 30 lbs, I'm not very grey and do more. Is 60 really the new 40? Am I really in better health than she was at this point?

Mom always had a bad hip problem, but as young as I was, I don't know exactly what caused it. When I started having hip problems I did more stretches and exercises and when it does act up, I can usually "fix" it. Sometimes I wish I could go back and help her with her health problems with the science that exists now. It would have saved her a lot of pain and maybe given her a longer life. She passed at 65 from complications of a heart attack. She had type 2 diabetes which made her recovery more difficult. I think during my mother's time it was believed you didn't move forward after a certain age. You hit your sixties and it was all down hill from there. That believe was instilled by society and opinions of others. It was just the way it was. You'll go grey, get arthritis, just sit down and wait for it.

So, I'm 60 and determined to be in better health from here on in. I've joined Weight Watchers (for the 3rd or 5th time?) and decided it's way past time I took control.
Science tells us that weight training and cardio can keep you in much better health in your sixties and even seventies. Here are a few examples;

Eighty year old body builders;
Ernestine Shepherd

Dr. Jeffrey Life

Check out this guy's website. It's informative and inspiring!




So maybe age is just a number, 60 is the new 40, and we've got more mountains to climb and there are victories to be had. Let's go get 'em!

Packing Up Memories

Boxes, Boxes, Boxes! My life is going into plastic tubs and cardboard boxes with a prayer that it all makes it to Florida without getting crushed.

We're in the countdown. Four and a half weeks to go. Today, another lovely snowy day in New Jersey, I'm tackling my office. This used to be my youngest daughter's bedroom, but after she moved out to start her own life, it became my office. Desk, printer, file cabinets, and built in cabinets. Since we started de-cluttering when we listed the house, there's not a lot here to pack. Books, a few odd manuscripts from books published on Amazon, lots of notebooks filled with scribblings from the soul and story ideas, and a couple of decorative items. I could probably get this room done by noon.

Harder still to pack is the memories. Chunks of time nestled in my heart. Waking kids up for school, picking colors for their rooms, setting the furniture just so. Memories to hold and rooms to let go of so we can build new memories with the kids in Florida.

Tomorrow or the day after it will be another room. Another four walls of memories. Years ago my oldest daughter wanted to sleep in a hammock. My husband strung the thing across the room and there she slept, nestled in a neat macrame hammock with pillows and blankets and her dog. It was quite a sight but she loved it and it made that room uniquely hers. And mine in my memories and my heart.

We one time painted my youngest daughter's room pink with a bright pink rug that she picked out. When we put it all together the room practically glowed. My husband and I exchanged glances that effectively said, "What did we do?" But my daughter loved it so we kept it. It was her room and her joy to have so it was right.

Memories. Wonderful, warm memories of hammocks and pink rooms and a happy family. Now, at 60 I look back on all the years with a contented yet wistful feeling. I miss having the kids home. I miss family dinners and running to band practice and lazy days by the pool watching the kids play.

Packing is bringing back a lot of memories.