Hiding the Introvert

Yes, I think I'm an introvert. I'd rather be at home on the couch with my dog or in my studio with my dog making art. Or writing.

However, there's this thing in life called money that seems to be a necessity unless you want to live in a shack in the woods. But then you'd still have to eat and have medical care and buy stuff to wash with and clothes to wear so we do need that thing called money.

Which means we have to be out in the world doing stuff and taking care of those basics. Even the introvert needs to get out and take care of life. If there are people counting on you then it's pull up those big girl pants and just get it done.

Some days it's easier. Some days it's not. But it's always exhausting.

For an Introvert to be "on" all the time takes a lot of energy. When it's over and they get to go home it's all they can do to hold their head up and not just collapse. Mentally and physically spend. The well is dry. It's time to recharge.

How does an introvert recharge? They go to their safe place, their happy place. Could be turning on the TV and zoning out on a favorite show or pulling out that favorite hobby and putting all their attention into it. Maybe they take a hot bath or just a nap. Each has their own way of coming down to normal again and, if you live with that introvert long enough, you'll see it.

How do you handle that introvert hiding in their safe place? How do you draw them out? Easy answer. You don't. Leave them be and let them recharge, clear their head and come back when they're ready.

                                          Sign me,
                                                    Introvert on the inside

Packing Up Memories

Boxes, Boxes, Boxes! My life is going into plastic tubs and cardboard boxes with a prayer that it all makes it to Florida without getting crushed.

We're in the countdown. Four and a half weeks to go. Today, another lovely snowy day in New Jersey, I'm tackling my office. This used to be my youngest daughter's bedroom, but after she moved out to start her own life, it became my office. Desk, printer, file cabinets, and built in cabinets. Since we started de-cluttering when we listed the house, there's not a lot here to pack. Books, a few odd manuscripts from books published on Amazon, lots of notebooks filled with scribblings from the soul and story ideas, and a couple of decorative items. I could probably get this room done by noon.

Harder still to pack is the memories. Chunks of time nestled in my heart. Waking kids up for school, picking colors for their rooms, setting the furniture just so. Memories to hold and rooms to let go of so we can build new memories with the kids in Florida.

Tomorrow or the day after it will be another room. Another four walls of memories. Years ago my oldest daughter wanted to sleep in a hammock. My husband strung the thing across the room and there she slept, nestled in a neat macrame hammock with pillows and blankets and her dog. It was quite a sight but she loved it and it made that room uniquely hers. And mine in my memories and my heart.

We one time painted my youngest daughter's room pink with a bright pink rug that she picked out. When we put it all together the room practically glowed. My husband and I exchanged glances that effectively said, "What did we do?" But my daughter loved it so we kept it. It was her room and her joy to have so it was right.

Memories. Wonderful, warm memories of hammocks and pink rooms and a happy family. Now, at 60 I look back on all the years with a contented yet wistful feeling. I miss having the kids home. I miss family dinners and running to band practice and lazy days by the pool watching the kids play.

Packing is bringing back a lot of memories.

Open House! Come on in!

An open house can be stressful, but we've done a few and the one tomorrow will be no different. We're up early straighten up the house and clear out.  Sometimes we go to Barnes & Nobel to sit in the cafe, sometimes to the movies, or see whatever else we can find to do.

I've spent the last few days saying goodbye to the house and welcoming the new family. I now refer to this as "that house" and "their future home" instead of my house. I'm ready, Universe! Let's go get a Florida house!

I used to foster dogs but since the house is selling, I'm not taking one right now.  Selling a home with dog hair on the furniture and that sometimes sweet smell of wet dog, isn't always that easy. Selling without animals, they say, is easier.

I just miss having a dog in the house soooo  much!

Today I watched a couple of Doxies for a friend and I had the best time playing and loving these two beauties. They were extremely sweet and gentle and loving. They are my friends foster pups and they are such good dogs I know they will get adopted fast. Hopefully together. 

It was just really nice to have dogs in the house, even if just for a little while.
Plan for future?
Sell house
Move to Florida
Buy house

Rescue a dog (or maybe two!)

To Love a Home

We'd like to move to Florida so we listed our home. It's a nice home and to open my heart to you: I'm in love with it. I raised my kids here, went through the majority of my life here, and worked on it and in it. My husband practically rebuilt most of it to our own design. It's very personally ours.  It will break my heart to leave, but both my kids moved to Florida and I know I will not be happy until I'm near them again.

I've often said I wish I could take this house with me and I wonder if that energy is preventing us from moving forward.

I need to release my house to the next family. Let it go so I can move on to the next part of my life.  It's been said you can't move forward if you're holding on to the past. The past was beautiful and has so many happy memories, but it's time to make new memories. Time to let this beautiful home find a new family to raise. It's a good home for kids, a nice neighborhood, good schools.

Dear New Family,
This is a home of love and laughter. You can grow and be happy here. It will be a beautiful life.
Welcome home,
the other family

I release this home to the universe. I release this home to the new family that will love it and take care of it.

God bless you home. I'm ready to move on to a new life and a new home. It's time.