Hello Unemployed Life

After almost 4 years with a company, I've been laid off. Not a surprise. I had watched them laying people off, firing some, and crying about money. I was the recruiter and who needs a recruiter when they're cutting staff?

So, now I'm looking at other jobs/careers and checking out the possibilities. I think of my strengths and where I want to be in five years. I want to be in  a place where I'm challenged, kept busy, and maybe discover new things. I want a job where I believed in the vision of the owners. That they were good and honest people and wanted the best for their employees.

The place I left had been failing in more ways than one. They played favorites, showed disregard for the feelings of their employees, talked a good show, but didn't follow through. There were lies. I hate lies. It made me extremely uncomfortable and went against my moral code. Management told me to lie and forget about it. Shameful. Being laid off wasn't the worst. It freed me from the crazy little liars and hopefully stopped me from being dragged down to their level. I think when your bosses ask you to lie for them, its a major warning sign.

So, now I shop for a job. Find a place where I can do good things. That's what I want. to do good things and make people happy. Is that so much to ask?

Life Choices vs Your Bliss

This card came from
Affirminators inspiration cards
found on Amazon.

I think there are certain times of your life when you look back and think about choices. Some are good, some make you wonder...what the heck was I thinking?

I remember my mother once asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I answered with total confidence; an artist. I was  probably in grammar school, maybe third or fourth grade. Her response? Artists don't make any money, pick something else.

There was a moment of confusion. How could I be anything other than what I wanted to be? Was it possible to just "pick something else?" I remember thinking, "but that's what I am."

So, I picked other things but never with enough gusto to fall in love with them. It was like a life on idle. March through it and come out on the other side realizing I'm bored, empty inside, and (as a dental assistant) a little grossed out by the blood and teeth stuff. I've drifted from job to job just trying to find that missing bliss and wondering what the heck was wrong with me.

My brother is a journalist. Newspapers were always his passion. I remember when we were younger there was always a newspaper spread out in front of him. He'd read every word and eventually went to college for journalism and is now an editor for a major newspaper. He found his bliss. He knew his bliss from an early age and, most importantly, it was an acceptable bliss. It made money. It supported a family.

I envy those who find their bliss early in life. A friend, a 1st grade teacher, once told me she never worked a day in her life, because she loved her job so much. Another acceptable bliss.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame my mother. She grew up during the great depression and knew what poverty could do to a family, to a neighborhood, to a nation. She only wanted me to be able to get a viable job. The label of "starving artist" was all she knew.

Fast forward to 2016. Imagine what I could do with an art degree today? There are so many opportunities for graphic artists. So many ways to sell art in this digital age. The possibilities are endless, but are any of them with my grasp? Building an art career at my age is intimidating, but can I do enough to be happy? Self supporting? Would my type of art be sell-able?
So many questions... Between regular 9 to 5 job and other life stuff, how much time is there to create art that would be good enough to sell?

So, did you find your bliss?