When Death Creeps Close

When someone near to you dies you do go through grief and shock but as you move up in years you think about other things. You grasp for a reason why someone your own age just passed away. 

Mortality smacks you in the face. 

This year I lost both a good friend and relative. The friend smoked for years and it was those nasty cigarettes that finally did her in. She was 65. Bright, vibrant and taken too soon. The relative had health problems she didn't share. (Younger by a few years) That was more of a shock due to the fact we thought everything was alright. 

It wasn't. But her passing was still a shock even to those who knew she had health problems.

When you're 20 or 30 and someone your age passes away it's always a shock but not something that makes you question your own health and lifestyle. 

Then you hit 60 and your perspective is skewed in the "could that have been me?" zone. You start to question that twinge in your chest, the cramp in your calf, and that forgetfulness.  

I think we have to double check everything. Make sure your meds (yes there are two to date) are good and go back to exercising regularly. Throughout the years exercise has come and gone and come back again. In my 20's I was hard core, then came kids and it got sporadic, then through the years it came and went. One thing stays constant? It does make you feel better. Jars are easier to open, boxes lift with less strain, your back thanks you, and squatting down doesn't mean you're stuck down there until someone gives you a lift. 

So to those who have passed I send my prayers, to those who are suffering I send hope that their health takes a turn for the better. 

For me? I need to clean out the spare room and get some weights. A few weeks ago I got a dog so the cardio is on the uptick. Dogs need walks and living where winter never drops below 60 degrees makes walking easy and enjoyable. 

Tomorrow I attack the pile of boxes in the spare room to make space for exercise. Yeah! 

Aging & Changes over 60

Some days I forget how old I am.
Other days it's the little things that hit back to remind me. Some small like that bright white hair in my normally brown eyebrows. Other's are bigger like the creeping arthritis I know is hitting the joints in my hands.

When I first started seeing the little white hairs replacing brown ones in my eye brows I just plucked them out. Bye, bye, all gone!  However I reached the point where it's either live with those pesky little white hairs or have a big bald line where my eye brows used to be. (Insert sigh of resignation here)

I've seen the older people with the enlarged knuckles. Their joints are stiffer, swollen. I'm not there yet but that little pinky on my right hand seems to have stiffened up a bit. Maybe the joint is a bit larger? Ugh!

So, I take my vitamins, walk the dog and think I need to put some weight lifting on my itinerary. They say lifting weights keeps the bones strong and makes you safer from injury.

I tore my rotator cuff years ago and met this little old doctor who treated my after care. He said to make sure to take calcium. He had fallen on an icy step and went down hard. He said the only reason he didn't break anything, as old an as frail as he was- he should have, was because he took calcium every day.

I take B12, too. B12 rules the nervous system and that affects everything in the body. Add D to that because blood work says I'm deficient and I'm rounding out my vitamins with something called Hair, Skin & Nails.

Getting old doesn't mean we no longer pursue health as vapidly as we did in our 20's. I think sometimes we forget to keep all these healthy habits in the front of our aging toolbox. 

Sixty the New Forty?

Could sixty be the new forty? Are people more in-sync with a healthier lifestyle that they eat better, stay active, and get medical care? Could be.

Turn on any morning talk show and half the time you find some doctor talking about the best way to do things. Eat your veggies, walk, drink water. All of this wasn't on our parent's radar when they hit sixty. The information highway has brought this info to us in a constant stream. TV, radio, and of course the computers. (Which are now inside our phones.)

So, yes. Sixty could be the new forty.

Sure I feel a little stiffer in my joints. I've got arthritis in my neck and shoulder from a car accident, and that extra weight doesn't seem as easy to lose as it used to be. But I can still walk a mile, lift weights and work. I think back to my mom at this age and she was already disabled and collecting disability. She had hip and artery problems which I think now were misdiagnosed.  Something we'll never know for sure. She hadn't been working for a few years by this age.

I see friends my own age that are in pretty good shape, too. Some have bigger health challenges but the information that's out there is helping them. They have more places to turn to than just their doctor. They were exposed to a time when new discoveries in medicine surprised us all. Vitamins, vaccines, food values, healthier sweeteners, the list goes on.

So someone tell me, how do we make Seventy be the new forty?

Surviving the Empty Nest

I'll be 62 in a few weeks. Truthfully, I don't feel any different than I did at 40 only, in a way, I have less responsibility.  Oh yeah, I'm still working, building my own business that I started at age 60, but the kids, my life's work up until they went off on their own are now building their own lives.
Empty nesting was hard on me. I had a sense of being lost, wanting to go back but of course there's no going back. Kids grow up and move out. It's pretty much a fact of life. I found myself falling back into the memories of things we did together, places we went, mountains I watched them climb, success and growth. I was drowning in memories.
They are off on their own, successful in their own right. Building their own lives, forging a path. I'm so proud of who they have become.

Now what?
Well, the hubby and I sold the house, moved 900 miles to be closer to the kids and started our own business.
Yikes!
We did that?
It's scary and fun and hard work. But so far it's work I'm loving. So I still have responsibility but it's different. No little lives depend on me, I don't have to wake anyone up in the morning but me. Make dinner or don't. It's just the hubby and I so we take turns or we go out.
I think after going through the empty nest portion of life I've emerged on the other side. My brother once told me empty next is like being 21 again but this time you have money. He's kind of right. Except I took all my money and put it in a business. :)

Truthfully, I think retirement at this point would bore me. The brain has to stay active to continue to grow. Chasing a golf ball around the green just isn't for me. Neither is sitting on the couch. If I had retired like that I'd probably be pacing the room look for the escape hatch.
Bottom line? To survive the empty next set goals. Don't just curl up and think about retirement.
THINK!

Is there something you always wanted to try? Something you always wanted to be? Set a goal. Make it big or small or make many and knock them out one at a time. Either way, don't forget that life is about moving forward.
So move toward a goal no matter how big or small.
It's out there. Go for it. Go for 60! It's gonna be a beautiful decade!

Dreams, Goals & the Craziness of Youth

We were young. We were crazy.
Sometimes looking back at the roads we traveled, the chances we took, I have to wonder why we survived.
From lost in Helmetta to 2 am runs three towns over, what were we looking for? What were we hoping to find?
Crazy.
I don't know if it was the time of society or the time of our youth that we got away with so much, but insanity sure fed our useless ambitions. Ambitions to nowhere. No goals ruled our crowd, no hope for anything but the right here, right now.
Who the hell were we?

Now almost 40 years later I look back and wonder where the time went. Why decisions weren't made differently. Decisions to move forward instead of just going with the flow. College should have come first. It's my biggest regret. Although I did some college later in life I know if I had gone during those young and crazy years, if I had chosen my goal then, I'd be more satisfied now.
Yes, I do know that. In my soul.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question they throw at you when you're barely 5 or 6 years old. When you don't know anything about the world or the possibilities it contains. Why aren't kids exposed to more of the world before they're asked that question? I think it would change a lot of lives.

I knew.
When I was 5 or 6 and asked that question my answer was always "an artist."
I knew it then.
"Oh dear, artists don't make any money, pick something else."
As if it were that easy.

Now I know who I am but I'm not where I want to be or would be had I been encouraged instead of told to "pick something else."

To be who you are meant to be is a sense of freedom. To be encouraged allows dreams to launch. You're okay! You can do this! Keep going!

Dreams are meant to be chased.
Don't ever forget that. 

DeMystifing the Introvert

All those personality tests are missing something. Labeling people as introverts is missing the point. They think introverts don't like socializing, have issues with talking to people, don't like meeting new people, etc.

They're wrong.

Introverts don't like wasting time. Introverts want action. Introverts are doers.

They're not going to sit around talking about the weather, but bring them to a place of shared interest and they turn on. They are bright and talkative and will control the conversation. They ask the most interesting and thoughtful questions and will have people sharing more than the usual small talk. Introverts crave interesting things.

Got an introvert in your life? Discover their passions and engage them about it. Is your introvert into Art? Auto mechanics? Theater? Books? Museums? Baseball? Football? Go there. Talk about it, visit it, find out more about it.

That's the secret.

Don't call them Introverts. Call them the Passionate.